And the sun began to set
by japi-girl
Summary: Life isn't just about living, but about how you take your time to live it.


Hiiiiiiiii

**Hiiiiiiiii. This is the first that I have written in a while. But I have been very busy lately with life as some may call it. Lol. But please check this out for me okay? And just to let you know, not every chapter will be in continuation of the previous one. Let me know if there are any grammar errors and I get right on it kk?**

**Warning: I don't do flames…but I do accept constructive criticism. **

**Disclaimer: I somewhat own the game considering I bought it from game stop. - .**

* * *

"How about that guy over there?"

"Too short." 

"Hmm. How about that one over there?"

"Too tall."

"The one throwing away his trash?"

"Too plump."

"Oh come on Yunie!! That guy sitting at the cash register is kind of cute isn't he?" 

"Not plump enough." 

Rikku had been trying to pair me up with every guy in sight every since the whole thing with **Seymour, **claiming that I needed a man to repair my heart that had been so brutally damaged. But I had come to the conclusion that I didn't need men anymore. My heart had been hurt too much, and I didn't want to risk it being further broken. 

Besides, I had a specific taste in men…and none of the guys that Rikku suggested seemed to fit that profile. What my taste was, I wasn't exactly sure. But I was sure that there was someone that once had fitted my taste. But he was **untouchable **now.

He played with my heart like it was inanimate, and he tried to apologize a few times. **But how does one apologize for something that words could never possibly fix? **It just didn't seem to make sense to me, but I assumed that the question fell under the same category as to **how could someone be so selfish to just disregard the person that they supposedly love's feelings because of a mere temptation?**

_As if he wasn't aware of what he was doing_…but for the sake of not holding grudges, I never held it against him. But I wonder… **does thinking about it so much count as a grudge? **Does wondering what could have been count as a grudge? I wasn't too sure of the answers myself.

I had so many questions that I wanted to ask him, but I knew it would be a waste of both his and my time. **Because what happened in the past needed to be let go and forgotten. **Dwelling in it did nothing but bring back painful memories that ached my soul. But I just wanted to know why. Why did things turn out this way? **Why was I the only one that had a broken heart? **But all these things I kept introverted because I didn't like weighing my problems on people. Self-reliance was supposed to be a strong quality I possessed. But when it came to **him**, I was as clingy as the attraction between two magnets. I did not want to let go of him, and it seemed to annoy Rikku terribly. And the weird thing is** I had never told her about how I was still attracted to him.** But I guess my actions must've spoken louder than my words. 

* * *

Rikku claimed that I wasn't the same anymore, that I wasn't the **happy-go-lucky** Yuna that she had grown so accustomed to. Honestly, it didn't seem like I had changed that much. Not much at all until one day when I was looking at a picture we had taken a while back.

We looked so peaceful and happy just from being together… and now it just hurt to catch a glimpse of him simply walking down the hallway. I remember how I held the picture close to my heart, clutching it; yearning for some of the affection we had once shared to visit my heart once more. But all that greeted me was a bitter, cold feeling that was way opposite of the warm sensation I had expected. I broke down into a fit of tears, burying my face in my pillow to smother the dampness on my cheeks. My heart had been stabbed, and it felt I had finally understood the definition of hell. Maybe not hell, but something close to it. It just happened to be a convenience for Rikku to bust into my room at that moment. And she never let me live that day down. 

* * *

So here we were, sitting at a smoothie place, arguing over what men seemed good enough for **me **since she was so determined to find me a 'man**'. A good one **was what she claimed. I mean…**how is someone going to tell me what is good for me when I don't even know that? **Well, my cousin sure had found a **way.** **Ways **sounded more suiting. 

"Yuna!! Come on now. Nobody ever seems to please your standards. When are you going to stop being so picky about your men?" Rikku slurped the remnants of her smoothie through the straw, the noise similar to that of a vacuum cleaner.

"When you stop bothering me about how picky I am with my men." I twirled my straw in the melted strawberry banana fusion, holding my head up high. 

"I have every right to be picky with my men anyway."

"Says who?" She chirped, finally convinced that she had inhaled the entire smoothie. 

"Me." 

"Well that's not saying much if you ask me…"

"And that's the thing: **I didn't ask you." **I grabbed the pepper shaker, subconsciously sprinkling speckles of pepper into my cup because I was trying to avert my attention to something else. "I never ask you, but you always seem to answer…."

"I just want you to be happy. That's all." A small pout made its way to her lips, the irritability I felt towards her suddenly fading. 

"What makes you think I'm not happy?"

"Well, because whenever I merely mention a guy being in our presence, you get all mad and stuff. Don't think I forgot about that incident in your room." 

"That doesn't mean I'm unhappy, Rikku. Men just annoy me now a little more than usual." I thought of an alibi quickly. "And I was having a monthly visitor so penalize me."

"Yuna, don't give me that. I know you better than you think." She had a sincere look to her face. "Nobody wants to be alone, Yuna. Not even you. I don't care what you have to say about it…" 

"Rikku, I'm not alone! I'm fine! I have you and many other people that love me. That's all I need." I forced up the corners of my mouth into somewhat of a smile. 

"But it's not all you want." She clasped her hands together. 

* * *

And she was right. Rikku was right, and I didn't want to admit it. How long was I going to have to lie to myself before I actually started to believe what I solemnly preached? How long would it take to actually back up the words that I had said? I hated how Rikku could see right through my transparent barrier that I had spent way too long putting up. But I couldn't't bring myself to agree with her. Showing people how I felt was how I ended up alone in the first place. 

"I want lots of things of things, but that doesn't exactly make them a necessity." 

"Not everything in life is necessary, Yuna. Those earrings in your ears… you didn't need those, but you wanted them. And it makes you happy that you have them, right?" Her greens orbs blinked. _"Am I right?"_

"Whatever you say Ri-" I halted mid sentence as I caught the cashier's eye, a quick wink emitting from him. And for some reason, this just made me mad. It felt as if he was trying to test me, as if he thought he was somebody** special **or something, and that he could have anything he wanted. And there was nothing that I couldn't't stand more than a guy whose head was too big from his ego. My eyebrows began to arch upwards, a hot feeling rising in my cheeks and temper, causing Rikku to look at me in question. 

"What's wrong Yunie?"

"Just who does that guy think he is winking at me like that? He has some nerve! Man! He isn't anybody! I don't even…" I stopped before I finished the sentence, listening to myself.** Truly taking the time to comprehend the words that had just come from my lips.**

_

* * *

_

Damn. Rikku is right. I sound so bitter, I thought, gritting my teeth together. My isolation from romance, the invisible barrier around my heart was so apparent that even a person sight deprived would've noticed thus proving Rikku correct once again. But I just didn't want to get hurt again. That's all it was. Because I knew that innocent things such as flirting were bound to lead me on, and flirting had no meaning behind it in my opinion. It just messed with people's emotions. **What was the fun of being lead off a** **cliff?**

_But it's not all you want. _The words echoed in the deserted space in my head that Seymour once occupied. 

**Who was I turning into? Where had I lost my ability to identify myself? **I found myself getting angry more often which certainly wasn't like me. 

My life felt so unsure … and not just because of a broken heart. So many other things were spiraling out of control as well. School, work, boys, my father stressing out all the time, Lenne and her upcoming baby. The problems always seemed to come to the other's aid when one thing seemed to be resolved. 

I just wanted my mother to take me into her arms, and cradle me, assuring everything would be okay. But breast cancer had taken her away long ago. _I was merely five. _I couldn't say that I really knew much about her, but I did remember the warm feeling she used to give me. How she would brush back my hair and make the knots slide out of my stomach when something was upsetting me. Pictures mostly brought back these feelings.

**But here I was, sixteen, and she was gone now. And I had to face it alone. **

I knew my father was hurting just as much as I was because of her absence. **Because she was his wife before she was my mother, the love of his life. **I understood that some people couldn't get over things like that, **even eleven years after the fact**.But he chose to cover up his sorrow, trying the best he could to give me double the amount of loving that vanished when my mom died. But sometimes it just wasn't enough for me, and I would never let him know that because it would break his heart. I could only talk about so much with him before it felt too awkward. 

I knew that people said that love wasn't always visible to the eye, but I did know that it had to be visible to the heart which was impossible for a heart that possessed a barrier. I looked so selfish, not appreciating love when it came to me, but I also looked dumb waiting for love that would never come. _**It was weird how much I could relate Seymour to my mother.**_

I knew it was time for a change, but I didn't know if I wanted to change. Change and I weren't't ever on good terms it seemed. It was like we were playing a constant game of tag, and I was always surprised when it caught up to me. **When was I going to be the pursuer of change instead of it pursuing me? **

* * *

"Earth to Yuna!!" Rikku waved her hand frantically in my face. 

"Huh?" I snapped back from my daze. 

"Are you going to finish that sentence?" 

I thought about it. And I came to a conclusion, the words, "No. It wasn't important anyway," slipping from my mouth. 

It wasn't worth my time to get mad over petty things. Especially if it led to dramatic thoughts such as I just had had. But would it be the last time I got mad over something petty? **Probably not… **

"Okay. Are you going to finish that smoothie?" I looked down into my cup, being reminded of the black debris a float inside of it. 

"No. I think I've had enough." I pushed the smoothie away.

"Well, I was hoping you did considering you poured half of the pepper shaker in there, you weirdo." Rikku pushed herself up from the table, her blond hair streaming down her back as she walked towards the trash can. 

I noticed the men that were gazing at her, and I was amazed at how she didn't let that affect her. I knew she saw them, but she went on walking, a smile plastered on her face as if nothing could bring her down. She wore her confidence on her sleeve, and it was evident. Beautiful and ambitious was what she was, and I was unattractive and dull. **Maybe that's why he cheated on me…**

As I had another session of contemplation with myself, I spotted someone approaching me in my peripheral vision. _Damn. I hope it isn't he guy from the cash…_

"Hey! My name is…"

"Evan." I read his name tag as soon it was legible to my eyes. 

"Oh. I see you've got some sharp eyes." He looked down at his name tag. "So your…."

"It's Yuna." I was slowly becoming aggravated. 

"Ha! And a sharp mind as well." I could hint the nervousness in his voice. I knew that I was too much to handle for him. 

"I was just wondering if I could…" Daring he was.

"No you can't." 

"Okay. How about going to a…" Persistent he was.

"I'm busy." 

"Next weekend?" Stupid he was.

"All the time." 

"Okay then. I'm sorry for…" Sincere he was.

"It looks you've got some impatient customers over there." I nodded my head towards the cash register. "Better get going."

"Yeah. Talk you later I guess." He scurried back to the cash register, surprising me with how polite he was to me when I was nothing but **rude **to me. Rikku sat back down, her eyes following Evan back to the cash register. 

"What was that all about?" She thumbed towards Evan. 

"Absolutely nothing." 

"Don't lie to me, Yuna." 

"What ever are you talking about, my dearest cousin?" I implied with sarcasm, fully aware that I was pissing her off, something that were both mutual in doing to each other at times.

"Well since you're not going tell me, we should get going to school. We can't be late to first period anymore." Rikku rolled her eyes, grabbing her books from the table. "Mr. Bickson said that he was running out of detention slips because he wrote so many for me. And when he runs out of those, those mere detentions could turn into suspensions." 

"Yeah, you're right. My teacher is getting impatient with me as well." We stood up from the table, pushing in our chairs. As we walked towards the door, I turned to look at the cashier once more, noticing the same confident look didn't dwell on him anymore. I partially felt bad for the way I had acted. **But he hadn't had his heart broken like I did, and I wasn't going to give anyone else a chance to do so. **So I brushed it off as my feet carried me out of the door.

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I haven't written in a long time. So what do you think? I appreciate honesty, but I don't like flames. Give the little button to the left some loving. =) 


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